Labs on Prozac

The call has gone out from Washington, from Obama and former President Hillary Clinton, that we US citizens, members of the ‘village’ of the United States, need to band together during this tough time. As unemployment numbers rise, we need to be creative, and think of ways to help our fellow US villagers. So, here is my contribution. I’ll explain how you to can use Prozac to con your neighbors for big money!

It goes like this. First you find a well to do neighborhood. You’re looking for people with lots of loose cash. Then you prowl the neighborhood and look a house harboring an overly friendly dog, like, say, a Labrador. For the dog to work as a target it will need to spend time alone outside, like in the backyard.


Then this is where the Prozac comes in. Get some ground beef, and mix the powder from several capsules of Prozac in with the meat. Then when the dog is outside, call the dog over to the fence. Get the meat-Prozac to the dog.

Not long after the dog munches the Prozac laden meat, the dog will get extremely friendly. Imagine a Lab on Prozac! Labs have gotten so friendly anyway that they are close to being dangerous as pets. So, a Lab on Prozac? Yeah, you can just picture what that would look like, right?

Keep this up for a few days. Then, early one morning you blanket the neighborhood with some flyers. These need to be the cheap homemade put somewhat professional looking kind of flyers that homeowners are used to finding on their doorsteps. What does the flyer say? It advertises you as a dog psychologist!

You need to hit every house on the block, not just the house with the Lab. It would be suspicious if you only leafleted the house with the recently freaking out dog.

Well, dear readers, if this were a David the con man story, I’d add lots more details. But, insiders like you, well, I know you can pull this off without me explaining every detail. Do this right and you’ll make lots of money!