Beerboy 1 Calling Beerboy Mothership, Come In Mothership!!
Hey, fans, you can forget about me having money troubles ever again...Did I tell you about these very friendly Russians I met at an Indian casino? Well, the Russian guys were going through the buffet right behind me. As I went to pay, with a credit card, I suddenly realized I had left the card back in my hotel room!! Well, one of the Russian guys suddenly said, "Hey, no problem, I'll pay for my kind friend", and handed the cashier a credit card. "Say, thanks, I'll pay you back!"I said. The Russian guy said, "Hey, I've got an idea how you can do that!!"
Well, it turns out these Russian guys have friends in Siberia. They'll give me all the credit cards I want, and I never have to make payments! What happens is that I use the cards for nothing but cash withdrawls. The Russians take 70% of the money and for that fee they make sure no credit card company can ever track me down!
Okay, that does sound too good to be true, doesn't it? That's what the pizza delivery guy who drove me down to the casino in his delivery car said. But, now the Russians even have him convinced!
Why would a pizza delivery guy use his delivery truck to drive me to the casino? I'll explain that later!!!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Content Update--What's Coming!
Beerboy 1 Calling Beerboy Mothership, Come in Mothership!
Hi Folks,
I wanted to let you know what's coming in future blogs. In addition to funny stories, I'll be giving you postings on the novel and role playing game development, si check back here often...Skip
Hi Folks,
I wanted to let you know what's coming in future blogs. In addition to funny stories, I'll be giving you postings on the novel and role playing game development, si check back here often...Skip
Friday, April 16, 2010
Witch Test
Beerboy 1 Calling Beerboy Mothership, Come In Mothership!!
Witch Test
Even in this high tech modern age witches can still be a problem. I don’t mean the friendly next door neighbor Wiccan. You know what I mean—I’m talking about the evil shape shifters who materialize through walls to eat all your pizza and drink all your beer. I know that you, like me, have searched all over the web to find a high tech gadget to keep these pizza and beer thieves at bay. Well, I can tell you that I’ve tried all those gadgets, and none of them worked. Don’t worry about me, though, because I did find a solution, an ancient low tech solution. What is it? I came up with this myself (No, I didn’t steal this from Monty Python). Once you’ve identified a “suspect witch” take them to a tall church. Drag the suspect up to the roof, and throw them off. If they are a witch, they’ll fly away. If they aren’t a witch, they’ll strike the ground!!
Okay, you might be asking, “What about those innocent ones that smash against the pavement?” Well, don’t worry—we’ve got that new health plan to take care of everything—even suspect almost witches!!
Witch Test
Even in this high tech modern age witches can still be a problem. I don’t mean the friendly next door neighbor Wiccan. You know what I mean—I’m talking about the evil shape shifters who materialize through walls to eat all your pizza and drink all your beer. I know that you, like me, have searched all over the web to find a high tech gadget to keep these pizza and beer thieves at bay. Well, I can tell you that I’ve tried all those gadgets, and none of them worked. Don’t worry about me, though, because I did find a solution, an ancient low tech solution. What is it? I came up with this myself (No, I didn’t steal this from Monty Python). Once you’ve identified a “suspect witch” take them to a tall church. Drag the suspect up to the roof, and throw them off. If they are a witch, they’ll fly away. If they aren’t a witch, they’ll strike the ground!!
Okay, you might be asking, “What about those innocent ones that smash against the pavement?” Well, don’t worry—we’ve got that new health plan to take care of everything—even suspect almost witches!!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Vibrating Phones For Fat Folks!
Beerboy 1 Calling Beerboy Mothership, Come In Mothership!!
Vibrating Phones For Fat Folks
Dear Beerboy Mothership Disciples,
Yes, you are right--these are dire economic times. Our political national leadership is lost in delusion, unable to distinguish Stark Trek-style fiction from reality. Obama is particularly unstable. Any day I expect him to walk out to the Whitehouse newsroom podium wearing Star Trek Vulcan ears, and flash the reporters with the Mr. Spock Vulcan hand sign!!
You and I, though, dear disciples, we aren't lost in the fantasy realm where Obama lives. And as proof of that, I today am offering all of you the investment opportunity of the decade. The investment is a way to capitalize ( a term the Vulcan-ized Obama considers obscene) on 2 modern trends--increased obesity and reliance on cell phones.
You know me: I scan the web and print journals for info. And this is what I came up with yesterday. There is a significant number of Americans who have grown so fat, so obese, that the vibration setting on their cell phones has grown useless to them. What do I mean? These "fellow citizens" (that's what you and I would call them, not what Star trek Obama would call them) have become so fat that the vibrations from their cell phones are absorbed by their fat. No matter how high these fat patriots set the standard vibration settings on their phones.
So, how does this matter to us Beerboy Mothership Disciples? I am offering all of you the opportunity to invest in this "phones for fatties" offering. I am launching a line of cell phones specially tailored to the obese class. Obama would never authorize this--he hates the obese and wants to drive them out of existence. "Drive them out of existence"--you and I, disciples, we would never do that!!! We want to guarantee that no obese American patriot will ever miss another phone call again!!
Is this new phone dangerous? Not to the truly obese. To the truly "skinny", though, yes. So, we promise to never sell to the abnormally skinny.
Vibrating Phones For Fat Folks
Dear Beerboy Mothership Disciples,
Yes, you are right--these are dire economic times. Our political national leadership is lost in delusion, unable to distinguish Stark Trek-style fiction from reality. Obama is particularly unstable. Any day I expect him to walk out to the Whitehouse newsroom podium wearing Star Trek Vulcan ears, and flash the reporters with the Mr. Spock Vulcan hand sign!!
You and I, though, dear disciples, we aren't lost in the fantasy realm where Obama lives. And as proof of that, I today am offering all of you the investment opportunity of the decade. The investment is a way to capitalize ( a term the Vulcan-ized Obama considers obscene) on 2 modern trends--increased obesity and reliance on cell phones.
You know me: I scan the web and print journals for info. And this is what I came up with yesterday. There is a significant number of Americans who have grown so fat, so obese, that the vibration setting on their cell phones has grown useless to them. What do I mean? These "fellow citizens" (that's what you and I would call them, not what Star trek Obama would call them) have become so fat that the vibrations from their cell phones are absorbed by their fat. No matter how high these fat patriots set the standard vibration settings on their phones.
So, how does this matter to us Beerboy Mothership Disciples? I am offering all of you the opportunity to invest in this "phones for fatties" offering. I am launching a line of cell phones specially tailored to the obese class. Obama would never authorize this--he hates the obese and wants to drive them out of existence. "Drive them out of existence"--you and I, disciples, we would never do that!!! We want to guarantee that no obese American patriot will ever miss another phone call again!!
Is this new phone dangerous? Not to the truly obese. To the truly "skinny", though, yes. So, we promise to never sell to the abnormally skinny.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Beerboy 1 Calling Beerboy Mothership, Come In Mothership!!
Say, some of you fans have asked for more personal info on me. So, here it goes...
Because my last name is "McRobert", some of you have assumed I'm Scottish. Well, actually, I'm not. "McRobert" is the English version of my family name. I'm Mexican. After my family ancestors snuck across the border they changed their name to "McRobert". My actual family name is "McRoberto". My real name is Skip McRoberto!...
And, yes, I only speak English. At home my family didn't speak Hispanic!!!
Say, some of you fans have asked for more personal info on me. So, here it goes...
Because my last name is "McRobert", some of you have assumed I'm Scottish. Well, actually, I'm not. "McRobert" is the English version of my family name. I'm Mexican. After my family ancestors snuck across the border they changed their name to "McRobert". My actual family name is "McRoberto". My real name is Skip McRoberto!...
And, yes, I only speak English. At home my family didn't speak Hispanic!!!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Gordon Liddy Can't Afford Hair!
Beerboy 1 calling Beerboy Mothership, Come In Mothership!!
Gordon Liddy Can't Afford Hair!
How bad is the economy? Try wrapping your brain around this: have you seen Gordon Liddy, the old Watergater, selling gold on TV? Have you seen how bald Gordon is? You telling me that with all the money Gordon's made from gold, he can't afford to buy some hair? Wow!-what more proof do you need that things are bad, really, really bad--Gordon Liddy can't afford hair!!
Gordon Liddy Can't Afford Hair!
How bad is the economy? Try wrapping your brain around this: have you seen Gordon Liddy, the old Watergater, selling gold on TV? Have you seen how bald Gordon is? You telling me that with all the money Gordon's made from gold, he can't afford to buy some hair? Wow!-what more proof do you need that things are bad, really, really bad--Gordon Liddy can't afford hair!!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Boston Celtics Become Little League Team
BEER BOY ONE CALLING BEERBOY MOTHERSHIP, COME IN MOTHERSHIP!!!
Fans of the Boston Celtics are among those really pissed off at the Obama Healthcare Plan. Why? Under the new Healthcare Plan the Boston Celtics will be yanked from the NBA, and made a Little League baseball team. This was part of a deal made with a Congressman from New York, a Knicks fan....The NY Congressman refused to vote for the Plan without this sleazy move. The Congressman was so happy with the deal that, in fact, he cast 2 votes for the plan!!!
Fans of the Boston Celtics are among those really pissed off at the Obama Healthcare Plan. Why? Under the new Healthcare Plan the Boston Celtics will be yanked from the NBA, and made a Little League baseball team. This was part of a deal made with a Congressman from New York, a Knicks fan....The NY Congressman refused to vote for the Plan without this sleazy move. The Congressman was so happy with the deal that, in fact, he cast 2 votes for the plan!!!
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