Vibrating Phones For Fat Folks!

Beerboy 1 Calling Beerboy Mothership, Come In Mothership!!

Vibrating Phones For Fat Folks

Dear Beerboy Mothership Disciples,
Yes, you are right--these are dire economic times. Our political national leadership is lost in delusion, unable to distinguish Stark Trek-style fiction from reality. Obama is particularly unstable. Any day I expect him to walk out to the Whitehouse newsroom podium wearing Star Trek Vulcan ears, and flash the reporters with the Mr. Spock Vulcan hand sign!!

You and I, though, dear disciples, we aren't lost in the fantasy realm where Obama lives. And as proof of that, I today am offering all of you the investment opportunity of the decade. The investment is a way to capitalize ( a term the Vulcan-ized Obama considers obscene) on 2 modern trends--increased obesity and reliance on cell phones.

You know me: I scan the web and print journals for info. And this is what I came up with yesterday. There is a significant number of Americans who have grown so fat, so obese, that the vibration setting on their cell phones has grown useless to them. What do I mean? These "fellow citizens" (that's what you and I would call them, not what Star trek Obama would call them) have become so fat that the vibrations from their cell phones are absorbed by their fat. No matter how high these fat patriots set the standard vibration settings on their phones.

So, how does this matter to us Beerboy Mothership Disciples? I am offering all of you the opportunity to invest in this "phones for fatties" offering. I am launching a line of cell phones specially tailored to the obese class. Obama would never authorize this--he hates the obese and wants to drive them out of existence. "Drive them out of existence"--you and I, disciples, we would never do that!!! We want to guarantee that no obese American patriot will ever miss another phone call again!!

Is this new phone dangerous? Not to the truly obese. To the truly "skinny", though, yes. So, we promise to never sell to the abnormally skinny.